Monday, 3 December 2018

Why Alone Time Is Important

Alone time is essential for everyone no matter how socially butterfly that person is. Let's be honest, during every day interaction with friends, colleagues, family members or even random person are kinda tiring and energy taking. Especially if you are someone with sensitive heart, you kind of absorb their energy including the negative one which pretty much influence your whole mood and eventually drain your energy. 

Some people might not understand the importance if giving personal space to others. Especially when we are in a relationship, or friendship, there might be someone who is a little bit territorial or "possessive". They demand for your time a little too much and get upset when you can't meet their expectation. They are actually lack of sensitivity towards other people's privacy. I mean, yeah we can't expect everyone to understand it, and some people might never get it. So, you should know how to explain it in the right way to them. 

Obviously there are too many reasons why everyone deserve to have their alone time. One of the obvious reasons is people need to "recharge" their power. In order to stay productive and charismatic, one needs to stay energetic, mentally and physically. And I feel like everyone needs to feel like they own themselves, by means of freedom to do their own stuffs without obligation or other people's approval and what not. In a simpler word, nobody owns anyone else.

And commonly people mistakenly think that alone time is similar to "silent treatment" and get super anxious and uncomfortable with the silence. Well, to be honest, I did think it that way, until I realize that I shouldn't expect everything to be in my way, and to get upset when things not up to my expectation is plainly stupid. But like I emphasized in my previous post, try to think of others, observe and understand their actions. And once you understand their pattern, you won't get upset for the same reason the next time. They might be just tired and wanna have some good rest, so have some respect, give them space and time. I can guarantee, once their energy restored, they'll run back to you, faster if not tighter. 

Wednesday, 28 November 2018

Expressive Doesn't Mean You Love Better

So, basically in my current relationship, I always am the more expressive side. Well, I write about him in my "love book",  hopeless romantic, Lol. I tell all my friends about him, I post his photos and what not. And somehow I feel like I'm being too much because he in the other hand never post anything about me on his social media. But, he actually introduce me to his best friends, friends and acquaintances in real life. I guess that's much better. So, because of our differences, sometimes I have a thought like "is he really loves me as much as I do or  can he really reciprocate my overflowing amount of love" because obviously I won't settle for less. I mean who should? 

But, in reality, that's actually how we both differ from each other. We may have the same amount of love, but we express or portray it in a very different way. I remember back then, he told me that he is a practical guy, who walks his talk. I wasn't really understand what did he mean back then because not much things can be proven when you just started a relationship with someone right? But, as time goes by, all his words make more sense. And yeah, he is true about that. 

He really is a very responsible guy, calculative, in a good way. Like he gonna plan everything nicely before jump into those stuffs. Unlike me who have more of an experimental attitude. The thought of him making plans for his future which includes me in it is very sweet. I think that's the purest thing a guy can do to a girl that he wants to commit. And another attitude that I love is how sensitive he is towards my feeling. I feel like if someone really cares about you, they will try their best to make you happy and comfortable around them, never take your feeling for granted and pay attention on what stuffs do make you happy and what is it that you don't like. 

We girls might need some reassurance once in awhile, and get really anxious if guy doesn't really show his feeling. But trust me, if you want to have future with them, you really need to learn to understand them. Because everyone love in a different way and as love is a two players kind of game, so you must learn to give and take as well. And if thing doesn't go in your way, try to think positive about it. Try to look things in another persona's side, be considerate. There's shouldn't be any competition between you and your partner but work as a team.

And another attractive attitude is consistency.  He should be consistent with his presence, not just an amazing 2,3 days talking and ghosting. Build the dynamics from days to days and only then comes a stable long term relationship. And he should always keep his promises, or at least be the same person he was when he first try to hit you and the person he is now. I mean, it's common to have arguments, small misunderstanding and what not, but you just know it if he really serious, he will fix it, together with you. And trust me, all those arguments and shit will actually make the relationship better as long as you wanna learn from it.

And I think I understand quite enough about love, that I have thought of giving him freedom of finding his happiness even if it doesn't includes me. Even if it gonna cost our relationship, I'll still let him chase it because what is the point of being together if one side is actually suffer from it. 

Friday, 16 November 2018

Hilangnya Kekasih Pertama Aku, Abah

Hello everyone, it's crazy how many things change within a year. 2018, definitely the most interesting yet tough year of mine. Tahun ni I met my soulmate, and tahun ni juga I lost my dad. 23rd October 2018, arwah abah pergi, setelah beberapa bulan suffer kanser usus. Terkilan sebab Fara duduk jauh dari keluarga, so nak balik memang susah. Tapi Alhamdulillah, Allah mudahkan urusan arwah pergi, time arwah tengah tidur. Syukur sebab sakit dia kat dunia ni dah berakhir. Walaupun Fara masih tak dapat terima pemergian arwah, tapi Fara cuba redha jugak terima ketentuan ni.

Wallahi, bila kehilangan ibu bapa sendiri ni, Fara rasa macam sakit2 lain, patah hati, sakit putus cinta apa semua tu sangat lah overrated. Hanya orang yang pernah alami nya saja yang tau macam mana rasa emptiness yang takkan dapat diisi oleh sesiapa yang lain. Kalau putus cinta, bila2 masa boleh cari pengganti, walaupun pada awalnya of course la sakit. And bila berpisah dalam cinta ni, orang kata adalah satu bentuk protection dari tuhan, supaya kita tak terus sakit dan sengsara dengan keep on holding pada orang yang menghargai kita. Berlainan pula bila berpisah nyawa, especially ibu bapa. 

Tapi, sesungguhnya, segala jua ujian Allah ni memang diberi pada orang yang mampu menghadapi nya. Dia uji kerana Dia sayang, Dia uji kerana dia mahu memberi jalan yang lain kepada kita. I cuba untuk pandang semua ni pada sudut positif, walaupun like I said, it's really tough. I ada lagi 3 bulan sebelum grad and back to Malaysia for good. Sumpah, sakit sangat, rasa terganggu untuk fokus, rasa down, rasa macam bila2 je boleh jatuh kepada kemurungan. Tapi I cuba untuk tak bagi negative thoughts menguasai. 

Sekarang, memang Fara focus pada orang2 yang betul2 menyayangi Fara. Fara cuba untuk luangkan masa sebanyak mungkin bersama mereka. Adik beradik, ibu, anak buah dan of course boyfriend tersayang. Diorang je lah sumber kekuatan Fara sekarang. Dan diorang sangat supportive. Doakan fara terus kuat untuk semua ujian dan dapat buat yang terbaik untuk exam nanti, boleh grad dan boleh jadi doctor yang berguna. :)

Monday, 11 June 2018

Travel For Love

Hey guys, how have you been? Happy Ramadhan dan Selamat Hari Raya yang akan tiba tak lama lagi. Macam biasa la, tahun ni masih lagi tak ada rezeki nak beraya di Malaysia. Tapi takpe since ni adalah tahun terakhir I kat Russia ni. Inshaa Allah akan graduate by January 2019. Rasa macam sekejap je dah almost 6 tahun merantau rupanya :) 

Okay, back to the topic, I nak share yang recently, early of May I dah travel ke London. Technically my first travelling ever. Okay, pernah la sekali pergi Vietnam 1 night, makan2 and jalan2, but tak dikira travelling sangat la kot. Eventhough I study di Russia ni, tapi I tak pernah travel kat mana2 negara lain. I don't know, I just don't think it's necessary to travel apa semua. Honestly, maybe sebab takde teman yang betul2 rapat untuk pergi travel. 

Sebab ada kawan2 yang travel ramai2, pastu masa tengah travel tu bergaduh sebab sesat jalan, bergaduh pasal divide tugas apa semua. I tak berapa minat nak deal dengan benda2 camtu so I prefer tak pergi travel. I ada attitude yang I akan buat something only if the thing is meaningful for me. Kalau I rasa tak penting, pujuk la macam mana pun I takkan buat. Hahah. But to be honest, I ada la simpan angan2 nak travel pergi tempat cantik2 yang banyak pokok bunga or luxury yacht sailing kat pulau2 yang cantik hihihih. Tapi tu semua bila bersama dengan orang yang I sayang la. Honeymoon ke apa. Awwww

Okay, so last month I pergi London sebab nak uruskan hal penting, pergi US embassy kat sana untuk buat visa. I plan nak visit my love dekat US summer break nanti. Terpaksa pergi negara lain untuk buat visa sebab 2 embassy kat Russia dah tutup, and chance untuk dapat tempat interview tu dah tak banyak. Actually proses dia sangat la senang, cuma halangan nya adalah I ada kat Russia, kalau kat Malaysia je memang senang kan.

It's basically macam quote " right people wrong time, wrong people right time ". Sebab kalau I kenal dia a little bit earlier, boleh la I buat visa tu di Malaysia, or maybe time tu Embassy di Russia tu belum tutup lagi.  I mula2 dah cuak, and I taknak buat boyfriend I risau or susah sebab I. Nasib baik la dia faham and banyak support I, so Alhamdulillah dah dapat la visa tu. Hehehe. 

Memang nampak la kegigihan I nak jumpa dia kan, sanggup I travel sorang2. Dari seorang yang tak pernah travel, tiba2 boleh plak survive sorang2. Okay la, maybe macam exaggerate sikit sebab London senang aje kalau nak travel, Internet laju, orang nya friendly, and diorang speak English so apa ada hal kan. Banyak jugak la tempat2 menarik yang I visit masa kat sana, and best sebab boleh makan Malaysian food hehehe. Tu cam tujuan utama la since I memang suka makan. 

So I visited London almost seminggu, then bila dah balik tu masuk kelas macam biasa. Tapi ada moment yang agak kelakar and interesting jugak. Dalam kelas I ada 2 orang yang kitorang suka kenen kenen kan. Faisal dan Samihah. So time tu I duduk seat sebelah diorang. And then macam mana entah kitorang borak2 pasal "handwriting". So Faisal yang terkenal as wikipedia bergerak ni cakap la, "orang yang tulisan besar ni selalunya berjiwa besar" , He was referring to my handwriting. Then I tanya, "mana kau tau aku berjiwa besar". Dia cakap, "Well, kau siap pergi London untuk buat visa sebab nak jumpa boyfriend, you're so determined". Then I gelak je. 

Bagi I benda2 macam ni normal aje, tapi rupanya di mata orang lain apa yang 
I buat ni adalah pengorbanan dan effort yang sangat besar. Hahahaha. Patut la boyfriend I asyik mintak maaf sebab dia rasa dia menyusahkan I. Padahal I tak rasa susah langsung, rasa happy and excited ada lah. Kita kena lah buat effort kalau kita betul2 nak relationship tu works kan. Tak boleh take partner kita for granted and tak boleh la biar 1 pihak je buat effort. One sided bridge leads to nowhere. Tak gitu?

Okay, so ni la cerita "Travel For Love" I. Haha, meh I belanja sikit gambar2 kat London haritu. Meh la share pengalaman gigih cinta korang, nak dengar jugak.


Friday, 18 May 2018

Manusia Jatuh Cinta 3 Kali Seumur Hidup

Hey, Assalamualaikum. It's been awhile since my last update pasal my breakup tu. Lol. Today's post pun berkisarkan cinta. I nak kongsikan benda ni berdasarkan pengalaman I. Experience really is the best teacher. I read somewhere yang bertulis, manusia akan jatuh cinta 3 kali dalam hidup.
  1. Zaman cinta monyet yang mana kita belum bersedia dan faham apa maksud cinta, cinta yang kita define masa kita masih tak matang
  2. Cinta kedua adalah cinta yang kita paling betul2 sayang, tapi cinta ni yang menyakitkan kita juga. Cinta yang kita rasa ini lah pilihan yang tepat, kita bagi seluruh jiwa raga, tenaga, masa dan letak harapan yang tinggi. Tapi akhirnya tak bersama jugak
  3.  Cinta ketiga ni datang masa kita dah mula tutup pintu hati kita untuk mencari, time kita dah betul2 rasa stabil dan selesa being alone. Tapi cinta ni selalunya yang kekal dan mungkin jodoh kita.
Kesemua cinta yang datang dalam hidup kita ni adalah sebagai pengalaman dan pengajaran. To be honest, I dah lalui ketiga-tiga fasa cinta ni. Rasa happy, bahagia sedih sakit tu semua dah dirasa. Jadi sekarang I dah jadi lebih matang dan tenang kalau ada apa2 berlaku sekalipun. 

Kadang2 pernah terfikir, dengan segala kualiti (self worth) yang i ada, kenapa i still disakitkan, tak dilayan dengan baik dan sebagainya. Siang malam duk fikir apa silap dan salah diri. Sampai lah satu tahap I dah betul2 move on. Bermula dari tu I jadi faham, yang tak kisah la betapa baik dan sempurna nya kita dan cara kita layan dia tu, tapi kalau dia bukan yang terbaik untuk kita, maka dia takkan nampak kita ni sebagai yang terbaik pun.

Penawar yang terbaik adalah untuk sabar. Waktu nya akan datang, cinta yang terbaik tu akan datang tanpa kita cari pun,  Inshaa Allah. I ni memang jenis yang suka dengan idea being in love, dicintai, disayangi, ada orang ambil berat pasal I, pagi2 tersenyum dengar suara dia, baca text2 dari dia. Walau apa pun halangan, pasangan yang tepat atau tak tepat, tapi I takkan putus asa dan salahkan takdir sebab I yakin Allah dah aturkan yang terbaik untuk I. Cuma kena sabar dan positif. 

Sunday, 8 October 2017

Kalau Cinta, Bebaskan Dia!

If you love someone, set them free. Give them wings, let them fly high! Semakin meningkat dewasa, semakin I  rasa nak mencari diri sendiri. Kalau sebelum ni, I  dahagakan perhatian, teman, kasih sayang dari orang lain, tapi sekarang I rasa ini lah masa untuk I cari diri I, buat apa yang I suka, terokai dunia, berbakti pada orang yang dah besarkan I dan juga semua orang. 

I naturally seorang yang optimist, berfikiran terbuka, positif dan sentiasa menyokong apa yang orang lain buat. Sebab I rasa semua orang berhak jadi yang terbaik. I nak semua orang berjaya dalam hidup diorang. Berjaya tu tak terhad pada pelajaran atau harta. Tapi berjaya capai keselesaan hidup, jadi happy dan cukup dengan apa yang diorang ada. I guess this separation ni bukan lah sebab nak bermusuh, tapi sebab I nak improve diri I and I nak the other side tu pun improve diri dia, for mutual good :) 

Sometimes, be in a relationship tu bukan sesuatu yang kekal, terutamanya kalau cuma sebelah pihak yang cuba pertahankan benda tu, manakala sebelah lagi tak pernah nak mengaku kesalahan diri. Mungkin kerana ego, mungkin juga kerana memang tak nampak silap sendiri tu. Tapi I macam biasa, sentiasa pandang ke depan, I tak suka nak bertengkar or tegakkan kebenaran , sebab I'm not a "vocal" type. I jenis tak banyak cakap, so memang takde guna nak berbincang face to face. End up aku kalah. Bahahahaha. 

But I sentiasa maafkan orang, sebab I sedar I pun banyak buat silap, and tu pun salah satu sebab kenapa I pilih untuk bersendiri. Sebab I nak perbaiki diri sendiri dulu. Banyak kekurangan, tak sempurna, tak bersedia lagi untuk ke tahap yang lebih jauh dalam hubungan. 

Saja kongsi kisah ni, sebab I nak semua diluar sana cuba hargai masa yang ada ni untuk cari diri sendiri, kenali manusia, kenali alam, kenali pencipta, have fun buat apa yang kita suka. tanpa ada batasan daripada orang lain. Apa guna sesuatu hubungan kalau yang dapat cuma air mata, tak dapat jadi diri sendiri. Dan dia pula sentiasa fikirkan cara untuk ubah diri kita.